How Hard Is It To Raise a Kid On Your Own

Raising kids on your own is a unique challenge; it’s a hard work that can’t be compared to anything else and it can’t be completely understood by those who aren’t in the same situation. The everyday obligation, discipline issues, decisions on your child’s education – everything has to be done by you and only you.

 

Single-parent challenges

Raising a child is difficult even in almost perfect conditions. However, without a partner, everything is much harder and stressful. Child care is completely in your hands, from the big decisions to the obligations on daily basis. It can eventually result in you feeling utterly fatigue and under pressure. The problem is – if you are too distracted to deal with emotional problems of your child or with the lack of discipline, bigger behavioural problems can occur.

To add to the issues, single-parent families often have lower income, while trying to balance work and childcare puts a lot of stress on the single parent and makes them feel isolated. Also, your child can feel the need for the parental role they don’t have in their life.

 

How to cope?

If you are facing the same problems, there are useful tips you can follow to improve the quality of your child’s life and yours and ease some of the difficulties.

1. Lean on others

Yes, you are perfectly capable of raising your child alone, but here’s the thing – you don’t have to. You have people in your life who care about your child and you, so don’t hesitate to ask them for help. Also, you can reach out to other single parents to make a carpool schedule, join a single parent’s support group and ask help from social services. Your friends and neighbours can also be of big help in times of emergencies.

2. Set limits and rules

It’s necessary to set up some ground rules that both you and your child will stick to. It’s important that they are simple and with a positive connotation. Your child needs to be aware of what you expect of them. From time to time, consider changing certain limits, for example, time that your child can spend watching TV if they show a willingness to take on more responsibility. Refer to the rules as often as you can, so that your child’s behaviour is shaped properly and in time it will lead them to their own positive-choice making.

3. Have a routine

Of course, we all already have a routine, but try to pinpoint where it is possible to develop more routine when it comes to daily activities – it can be getting your kid ready for the new day preparing for the evening meal and bath time. The more structure you provide to your kid, the more you will help them in knowing what to expect.

 

4. Build a stable relationship and show love

The relationship that you build with your child will be one of the strongest influences on their behaviour and attitude, as well as their choices. Kids are always trying to please you and to create a bond with you, even if they don’t always show it. So, you are the one to try your best to make the relationship strong – don’t try to be their best friend, but nurture your relationship with respect. Praise your child any chance you get, give them your unconditional love, always find time to play with them at the end of the day or at least read to them before bedtime.

5. Talk to your child about divorce

Most of the time, single-parent families are a result of divorce. It’s necessary to discuss this with your child, let them know you are aware of the changes they are going through and encourage them to share their feelings with you.  Try to avoid any negative comments and feelings about the other parent. Maybe the conflict between you and your former spouse is too complicated and is making it very difficult for the child to deal with the new situation. You shouldn’t blame yourself – many spouses find themselves in the same situation. For example, experts in family mediation in Sydney are the ones who in the end ease the conflict in the child’s best interest. Your child can also get the help from a counsellor, where they can talk about their fears.

6. Take care of yourself

To be able to take care of your child, you need to take of yourself, too. Try to have plenty of sleep, eat healthily and be physically active at least twice a week. Also, it’s crucial you have some time for yourself, away from the role of the parent. You need to recharge your batteries.  You will be refreshed and at your best for your child.

 

Conclusion

It’s no secret – being a single parent is going to be very hard, often challenging and exhausting but it doesn’t mean it can’t be done and done right. Where there is love between the child and the parent – there is also a way to make it work.